I started April strong. There was energy. There was intention. There was clarity around what this month was about. Renewal. Returning. Coming back to what matters. And then… it faded. Not all at once. Just slowly—like it usually does. Like New Year’s resolutions. Like anything we try to change. And for a moment, it felt like I was back where I started. But when I really look at it… I’m not. Because I see things more clearly now.
We talked about renewal across different parts of life—your mind, your heart, your body, your relationships, your work, your faith. I didn’t transform everything. I became aware of them.
My mind still gets scattered and overwhelmed—trying to keep track of everything I’m building and figuring out what actually matters.
My heart felt more than I expected. Roxy turned another year older. I’m still in the middle of something I can’t fully see yet. This isn’t just one month. It’s been a few years of things changing, ending, and starting again. And I’m still figuring out what comes next.
My body has been tired. I showed up a few times—HOTWORX, walks with my fam—but it didn’t turn into consistency. Still… I started.
My relationships are complicated right now. There’s one that’s broken—and I’m not ready to fix it yet. And in protecting myself from that, I’ve also pulled away from someone I actually love spending time with. That part has been hard to ignore.
My work feels uncertain. I’m building something here, while also trying to balance reality. And it’s hard to hold both at the same time.
My faith is the one place I’ve quietly come back to. Not in a big way. Not perfectly. Just… listening again. Showing up for a Sunday service online. And for me, that’s actually a big step.
I didn’t fix everything. I didn’t follow through perfectly. I didn’t fully move into choosing or protecting what matters. But I can see it. I can see what matters. I can see what’s off. I can see where I’m showing up—and where I’m not. And maybe that’s what renewal actually is. Not a permanent shift. Not a full reset. Not something that holds as a feeling.
Just… awareness. The kind that stays with you, even after the energy fades.
I wasn’t consistent. But I started. And I’m aware. And I’m taking small steps. And I'll keep taking small steps.
Not stuck. Becoming. ✨
